At the beginning of 2023, like so many of us, I find myself thinking about my habits and what I want to do differently this year.

Our brains are amazing organs, about which scientists are really only just beginning to learn. Amazing – yet full of paradox. We now know that new neural pathways can be formed at any age, yet maintaining new ways of being – our habits – can be fraught with difficulties.

The concept of neuroplasticity is now widely understood; our brains are adaptable, new neural pathways form daily, helping us to learn from our experiences and adapt to our environment.

This process combined with myelination allows new habits to be formed and embedded in the brain throughout our lives. Myelination occurs when a neural pathway is repeatedly used; a fatty layer of insulation grows around the pathway, making it faster and easier to use. The more we use this pathway, the less effortful it is to perform the new habit – it becomes more and more automatic until we rarely think about doing it.

Habit formation should be easy, but it is so hard and at times down right scary.

Research in the 2010s by Dr Phillipa Lally from UCL and her team of researchers has shown that this process of habit formation takes on average about 60 iterations of a task. That means we need to complete a new task 60 times before it becomes embedded as a habit.

Sounds simple in theory, right?

But in practice, the reality of forming a new habit – making that New Year’s resolution stick – is inherently difficult. Why? The best way to describe it is by thinking of it as a paradox. Yes, it is easy to form new neural pathways, but sticking at the habit for 60 iterations is incredibly hard. For me there are two main paradoxes here:

Firstly, in order to form a new habit, we need to move away from an old way of thinking or doing. This old way is a neural pathway which is heavily myelinated and embedded in the brain. It takes conscious effort to choose to do things the new way, and it can be a scary and intimidating place. On top of this, when we are tired and haven’t been looking after our brain, it will be easy to be tempted to revert to the old easier path.

Secondly, and most importantly for neurodivergent brains, the novelty quite simply wears off before we reach 60 iterations. The first two weeks of a new habit are novel and produce lots of dopamine for us when we do it. After about 14 days, motivation wanes and we often give up on the habit we were so excited about only 2 weeks earlier, often putting the effort we could have used embedding the habit into searching for something else to try that might be better suited to us.

This January at Connections in Mind, we are focusing on goals, habits and making small changes for the long term. We are putting all our energy into supporting you to overcome the brain paradox and make meaningful changes in your life. Join us this month for a host of live events and resources to help you make the steps you need for the better. We are dedicated to supporting you!